FRONT PAGE · LAWN & LEISURE
Let us Dominate Your Yard
Get yourself a sexy boy…or two 😉
The full crew at close of business Thursday: edges done, stripes straight, shirts unaccounted for.
STAFF PHOTOGRAPH — THE LAWN GAZETTE
INSIDE THIS ISSUE
SUBURBIA — They arrive at golden hour, three abreast, and property values tremble. Sexy Boys Lawn Services, the region's most conspicuously fit landscaping outfit, has spent the season turning the humble mow-and-blow into municipal theater — and the neighbors, frankly, keep finding reasons to watch.
Witnesses describe edges crisp enough to file paperwork, stripes so straight the county surveyor reportedly wept, and a crew that always waves back. Appointments are said to fill faster than a wheelbarrow in a rainstorm.
Asked for comment Thursday, the company issued a single flex and referred all further questions to the classifieds, page 2. This reporter saw no reason to follow up. ■
CLASSIFIEDS · PAGE 2
Services Offered
RATES ON REQUEST
Fertilizing & Weed control
Subscribe & Save to one of our plans to have your lawn protected.
$75.00
Contact UsMention The Gazette for nothing extra.
Residential & Commercial Lawn mowing
Mow, edge, blow. Just what you need.
$40.00
Contact UsMention The Gazette for nothing extra.
OPINION · PAGE 3
FROM THE EDITORIAL BOARD
Satisfaction, kinda guaranteed
The company pledge travels stenciled on the trailer — the only contract most customers ever see.
STAFF PHOTOGRAPH — THE LAWN GAZETTE
There are guarantees, and there are the promises your grandfather sealed with a handshake. The Sexy Boys offer neither, exactly, and this page finds the honesty refreshing.
Their pledge is stenciled on the trailer and recited, solemnly, at every job: “Our sexy boys will get the job done — no excuses, no shortcuts, no shirts…sometimes.”
“No excuses, no shortcuts, no shirts…sometimes.”
— THE COMPANY PLEDGE
In an industry of fine print, that is the entire print. We endorse it. ■